Saturday, June 28, 2003
Separation for Sale
The space between mother and child is available for profit. Our culture has made a business out of putting space between mother and child. This has become so pervasive that we have been indoctrinated. Our culture assumes the validity that “mom must get away” and that “independence is a goal to be achieved as quickly as possible”. Baby must sleep through the night, not use mom as a pacifier, be left with grandma.
Walk into a Babies R Us or a similar store. 80% of the products are designed to put *space* between mother and child. Cribs, bottles, swings, play gyms, play pens, exersaucers, mommy bears, pacifiers……..While I agree these can be tools, I disagree with our cultures assumption that these tools are harmless. I think they have a potential to snowball.
Here’s my truth. I never separated from my babies. And, 3 babies and 8 years into parenting, I have no regrets. My kids have not suffered. My marriage has not suffered. Society has not suffered.
I won’t go as far as to assert that attachment parented children are *more* secure, *more healthy* or *more centered*. But I do take great offense at the assumption that early, regular separation from babies and young children is a need, is good or is something to work towards.
Mothering little ones is a season in my life. As intense as that season is, it’s a short one. My nursed forever, co sleeping, in the slinged babies are now 8, 6.5 and 4.5. They varied widely in terms of ability to separate from me. Now, however, they all thrive in situations where it is appropriate for all concerned that we be apart.